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‘These new vaccine mutants are extremely disappointing,’ by Magneto
From Alexandra Petri at the Washington Post: Sherri Tenpenny, an osteopath, testified in Ohio that, “I’m sure you’ve seen the pictures all over the Internet of people who have had these shots and now they’re magnetized. They can put a key on their forehead. It sticks. They can put spoons and forks all over them […]
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Black Lives Matter.
If you’re as frustrated at everything that’s going on and looking for a way to help, there’s an excellent list of resources here. Also, for the record, if you’re thinking of contacting me to argue about this, or just be a shitface in general, you can figure out where the unfollow button is on your…
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Santa Dog on a Roomba
Merry Christmas/Happy Thursday, everyone.
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Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!
Anyone who’s followed my idiotic blathering on the internet for any length of time would know that I generally avoid talking about topics that have any substance to them. There’s several reasons for this: Jokes about food, pop culture and Apple products I will inevitably buy sight-unseen are easy, and jokes about things that are…
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Pug In A Ball Pit
A pug playing in a ball pit. Eerily similar to how I reacted to the high-quality news I got today that I’m going to be strangely vague about like an attention-seeking jerk.
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“New York Times” Selling Author
Hear me out on this one: I used to work in a pharmacy. At that pharmacy, I would occasionally ring people up for things. Newspapers, for instance. Those newspapers included The New York Daily News, Newsday, and The New York Times.1 I write stuff; therefore, I am an “author”. I am thus qualified to introduce…
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Honest Ade Super Fruit Punch, We Hardly Knew Ye.
Honest Ade Super Fruit Punch: Second only to Raspberry Kool-Aid as my favorite beverage. It was crisp and light and sweet and refreshing and perfect. And, unlike Raspberry Kool-Aid, Honest Ade Super Fruit Punch was still in production, which was a definite plus. Unfortunately, my use of the past tense in that last sentence was…
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Kanye Weird
I generally don’t republish my tweets here, but when this catches on in a few months, I wanted to make sure everyone knew who said it first.
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Please Stop Whining About The Friend Zone. It Only Makes Me Wanna Punch You In The Windpipe.
In the past few weeks, I’ve seen a ton of whining on the various social networks I spend far too much time on about “The Friend Zone”. One of the more charming complaints was a “picture” 1 I saw on Instagram that relayed the following message 2: All of you single girls asking where all…
eD! Thomas
Excels Equally in Awesomeness & Modesty