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Nearly Coherent: Self Service

There’s a new episode of Nearly Coherent!

eD!, Jeff, and Val discuss the latest Apple event!

Spoiler: I did not think it was a good event!

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Nearly Coherent: Parenting Pro-Tips!

There’s a new episode of Nearly Coherent!

eD!, Jeff, and Dave talk new iPads, Captain Marvel, and the return of James Gunn to Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3!

This episode also gets pretty steamy talking about brunch, so you might consider it NSFW.

sexy nun GIF by Originals
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Nearly Coherent: Let’s Get Freaky

There’s a new episode of Nearly Coherent!

eD!, Jeff, Dave, and Val discuss John Candy, new complications for Dave’s News Corner, and Val celebrates the 100th episode by bringing the tale of a date so bad that it might have warped her brain!

This might be my favorite episode in a while. Give it a listen and marvel at how bad Val’s date was, seriously it will break your faith in humanity a little.

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Nearly Coherent: Alien Ranch

There’s a new episode of Nearly Coherent!

eD!, Jeff, and Val discuss pretty terrible opportunities in Arizona real estate.

This one gets weird, if for no other reason than it involves aliens with swords which, now that I think about it, isn’t really that weird for us, honestly.

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Nearly Coherent: Many Moose

There’s a new episode of Nearly Coherent!

eD!, Jeff, Dave, and Val discuss a pair of Dave’s News Corners and an instance of mistaken identity.

One of Dave’s two news stories is painfully bad, you really need to hear it to believe how terrible it is, honestly.

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Nearly Coherent: Hell is Other People

There’s a new episode of Nearly Coherent!

eD! and Jeff discuss customer service, dental hygiene, and BBQ.

We also veer from customer service to a brief conversation about existential literature, which is entirely keeping with the theme of this podcast. I’m pretty jazzed about that.

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News

ABC 7 NY News: Bags of undelivered mail found in postal worker’s backyard shed on Long Island

Turns out my home town has a bit of a problem with the mail:

Postal inspectors are at a house in Nassau County Tuesday after they found loads of undelivered mail.

The USPS Inspector General’s Office confirms they are investigating, and neighbors said upwards of 60 kitchen-sized bags of undelivered mail were removed.

It’s pretty common for mail to be delivered to the wrong house where I am, anyway, so this really didn’t hurt your chances of missing an important piece of mail by all that much, honestly.

On the plus side, I now have something concrete I can point to the next time I tell my insurance company that there’s a reason I don’t get my prescriptions from a mail-order pharmacy. Woo-hoo/par-tay, etc.

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News Politics

The Morning Call: Stoning could be last ditch defense against school shooters, Blue Mountain official says

The Morning Call has news of a plan to help curb school shootings: rocks.

“If an armed intruder attempts to gain entrance to any of our classrooms, they will face a classroom full of students armed with rocks and they will be stoned,” Superintendent David Helsel said to the House Education Committee in Harrisburg.

I swear, we live in the dumbest of all future dystopian society timelines.

Source: Daring Fireball

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Nearly Coherent: A Profound Disappointment in Humanity

There’s a new episode of Nearly Coherent but, between the devastation of Puerto Rico, the ongoing feud between Trump and the NFL, and the shooting in Las Vegas on Sunday, there was a bit of frustration for Jeff and I about just cracking jokes about stupid news shit, so a majority of this episode is us getting our yell on for people’s stupid hot takes.

But when we needed a break from that, we did find some stuff that was slightly amusing, because we can’t be all “everything is shit” all the time, y’know?


Cow Farts are Killing the Environment

Farts are the stock and trade of Nearly Coherent, so when I saw this headline from Gizmodo, I knew we had to discuss it:

We’ve Grossly Underestimated How Much Cow Farts Are Contributing to Global Warming

Sadly, I didn’t really read the article before we spoke about it, and my internet connection was being a turd so I couldn’t do a “read faster than Jeff can ask questions” maneuver, so all we really spoke about was the headline, but, still, what a great headline, right?!

A Buncha Shit Re: DC Comics Movies

I’ve been pretty vocal regarding how I feel about DC Comics’ current run of movies — specifically, they’re garbage and the company has no idea what the hell they’re doing at all — and apparently Warner Bros. has started to feel the same way, as they announced that they’re going to focus more on standalone films from now on.

Personally, I think this is a great idea — DC has always worked best in my estimation when they embrace the idea of their Multiverse, and this will be a strong differentiator for their properties from Marvel Studios. Sure, this adds a variety of ways that they can totally screw up, but this makes it easier to walk those screw-ups back in a much faster way.


That was more or less that for this week… Fingers crossed we can make it to next week without some other Earth-shattering catastrophe to distract from stupid crap! (I’m not holding my breath on that one, though, to be honest.)

Go listen to the episode yourself at Nearly Coherent or wherever else you go to get your podcasts. Whatever makes you happy.

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Nearly Coherent 037: The Kimmy Gibbler of Worlds

This episode is proof-positive we’re in the Darkest Timeline. Sorry!


Trump v. Sportsball

No one is more upset than I am at Trump’s feud with the NFL and Stephan Curry, both because I’m a hard-line supporter of the First Amendment and because now I know things about sports, which is the last thing in the world I wanted.

In case you missed it because you’re the luckiest son of a bitch on Earth, here’s a good explainer of Trump versus the NFL, and here’s what’s what with Trump versus the NBA, both from Vox.com.

If you’ll excuse me, I have to go find a not-ugly Golden State Warriors hat.

It's me.

The Apple Watch’s Heart Rate Tracking

The Apple Watch got a whole bunch of great updates with watchOS 4, including showing resting heart rate, walking heart rate, recovery rate, and will even give you a head’s up when your heartbeat is spiking for no reason whatsoever. However, these features only work on the Series 1, Series 2, and new Series 3 Watches… the Series 0, which is the original Apple Watch, doesn’t have the hardware capable of handling that.

This isn’t really a big deal — you can always expect pretty big leaps in technical capabilities between the first generation of a device and the second or third, and you can especially expect it when the device is made by Apple. The people who might be a little annoyed by this, though, are the people who bought the first generation solid gold Apple Watch Edition, which started at $18,000. They might have expected a little more longevity out of their purchase.

Then again, they were dumb enough to buy an $18,000+ Apple Watch, so they’re kinda getting what they deserve, honestly.

A $350 Jean Jacket

Jean jackets are back, much to my dismay, and Levi’s released their new Commuter Trucker denim jacket yesterday, which retails $350. Admittedly, it’s a jacket with a li’l technological trick up its sleeve… by swiping or tapping the fabrics on the left cuff, you can control your smartphone via Bluetooth. It’s also made in partnership with Google, so you don’t have to worry about the technical know-how of the fine folks at Levi’s in the hopes that the thing will work, which is nice.

That said, for $350, you can also buy an Apple Watch and not look like a time traveler from 1997, which might be a better look all-around, if you ask me. But hey, it’s your money, spend it how you want, weirdo!


There’s plenty more in the episode to entertain and probably horrify you, so visit Nearly Coherent or wherever you get your podcast fix to give it a listen.