Now we’re getting Red Sky Crossovers in real life, too? Perfect.
eD! and Jeff remind you that #BlackLivesMatter, and if you think otherwise, you’re probably a dick.
It only took us two tries to get this right, and there’s a lot that might age poorly, but we’re doing our best here.
Dave Chappelle’s new special, “8:46”, is excellent. You should watch it, which works out ‘cause it’s right up there.
Also, for the record, if you’re thinking of contacting me to argue about this, or just be a shitface in general, you can figure out where the unfollow button is on your own.
eD!, Jeff, Dave, and Val talk about some horrendous dates Val’s been on.
“Horrendous” doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface here, folks. You need to hear this crap, it nearly broke my damn brain.
In the coming months we’ll make changes to simplify Tweets including what counts toward your 140 characters, so for instance, @names in replies and media attachments (like photos, GIFs, videos, and polls) will no longer “use up” valuable characters.
It’s great that Twitter is working on giving people more space for the meat of their tweets, and obviously a much better use of their time than trying to stem the tide of horrifying abuse that occurs on their platform every damn day. But, hey, now trolls can make each tweet chock-full of more hate, so I guess it’s a super-awesome thing!
While this apparently caused some people to have weird panic attacks, it is met with great relief and celebration here at Nearly Coherent Industries HQ, because capitalizing internet was a stupid-ass thing to begin with.
In the wake of the terrorist attacks in Brussels that left over 30 dead and more than 100 injured, an angry and frustrated global populace collectively announced Tuesday that it would make one last attempt to try to understand this shit.
Visibly exasperated residents from every country around the world told reporters that, after enduring so much similarly horrific shit in recent years, they would give comprehending barbaric acts of violence against innocent civilians and the intensely complex network of factors that motivate them “one more shot” before simply throwing their hands up and giving up entirely.
Yeah, that sounds about right, depressingly.
I am afraid of the cops. Absolutely petrified of the cops. Now understand, I’ve never been arrested or held for questioning. I’ve never been told that I “fit the description.” But that doesn’t change a thing. I am afraid of cops the way that spiders are afraid of boots. You’re walking along, minding your own business, and SQUISH! You are dead.
Simply put, I am afraid of the cops because I am black. To raise the stakes even further, I am male. And to go all in on this pot of fear, I am six foot four, and weigh 250 pounds. Michael Brown, the unarmed Missouri 18-year-old shot dead by police this summer, was also six foot four. Depending on your perspective, I could be described as a “gentle giant,” the way that teachers described Brown. Or I could be described as a “demon,” the way that Officer Darren Wilson described Michael Brown in his grand-jury testimony.
It’s informative and infuriating. That this is a thing that anyone should have to deal with pisses me off to no end.
If hearing that the CEO of Apple is gay can help someone struggling to come to terms with who he or she is, or bring comfort to anyone who feels alone, or inspire people to insist on their equality, then it’s worth the trade-off with my own privacy.
I look forward to the day that someone being gay is about as newsworthy as announcing if you have an innie or outie belly-button. But, until we get to that point, stuff like this well-written bit o’ business are important.