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Technology

Hover!

Hover!, a game that originally came bundled with Windows 95, has been recreated for the web using WebGL.

The most impressive part, at least for fans of the classic Hover! version, is that Microsoft has also built in a “secret” retro mode to activate a web version of Windows 95 complete with the original. If you visit the site and type bambi at the mainscreen, the original codename for the Windows 95 release and a nod to an old easter egg in the game , it will activate the retro mode. While it’s not a full version of Windows 95, you can also double click on share_fb.exe and tweet.exe from the desktop and Windows 95-style setup wizards will appear allowing you to share the site to Facebook and Twitter. It’s all very retro and executed perfectly for those who remember using Windows 18 years ago.

I loved this game so freakin’ much, you guys, and the web version is just as frustratingly awesome as I remember it being. Everyone wave s’long to my productivity for the day.

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News Technology

Most Valuable Global Brand

Coca-Cola has been knocked out of its top spot on Interbrand Corp.’s most valuable brands list by Apple. Coca-Cola then continued to lose the #2 spot to Google, pushing those poor, sorry bastards down to #3.

Apple Inc.’s brand value jumped 28 percent to $98.3 billion and Google Inc. (GOOG)’s rose in second place at $93.3 billion. The Coca-Cola Co. name slipped from the top spot after 13 years to third place at $79.2 billion.

“Every so often, a company changes our lives — not just with its products, but with its ethos,” Jez Frampton, chief executive officer at New York-based brand consultancy Interbrand, said in a statement. Current Apple CEO “Tim Cook has assembled a solid leadership team and has kept Steve Jobs’ vision intact — a vision that has allowed Apple to deliver on its promise of innovation time and time again.”

Given that this is Apple we’re talking about, it’ll be less than 12 hours before some idiot proclaims this as yet another sign of Apple’s impending iDoom.

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Linkin' Log Technology

Steve Ballmer’s Last Employee Meeting

Steve Ballmer got emotional at the last employee meeting he’d run as CEO of Microsoft. The Verge has video of it.

I’m sure you’re expecting some snarky commentary out of me – frankly, I was expecting some snarky commentary out of me for this one – but I got nothin’. Dude’s been the butt of a lot of jokes I’ve made over the years, but he’s got a passion and love for Microsoft that is rare to see in a CEO, and I respect the hell out of him for it. So, today, he gets a pass from me.

Even for what appears to be a brown-shoe-black-belt-navy-pants combo. I’m gonna let that slide.

Almost.

Categories
News Technology

Hamburger Shaped iPhone? Yes. Please.

Sandy Cannold for ABC News: “Why Record iPhone Sales Might Be Rotten For Apple”

To me though, all this over-the-top fanfare and even the record-breaking first weekend of sales could actually be cause for concern. Now before Apple lovers pillory me and say that I have no idea what I am talking about, hear me out. I fully concede that Apple is going to make billions in profit from the sale of these new devices and the company is in no danger of becoming Blackberry or Nokia. But the reason I am voicing a bit of doubt is that it seems like Apple is now trying to squeeze every last bit of profit it can out of an aging, shall we call it, iStone.

Bradley Chamber’s takedown of this piece: “Would You Be Happier If The iPhone 6 Was In The Shape Of A Hamburger?”

Categories
Linkin' Log Technology

No, iOS 7 Does Not Make Your iPhone Waterproof, You Idiot.

Apparently there was a hoax ad going around telling people that upgrading to iOS 7 would make their phones waterproof. And people believed it.

“Update to iOS 7 and become waterproof” claims the ad, explaining that “In an emergency, a smart-switch will shut off the phone’s power supply and corresponding components to prevent any damage to your iPhone’s delicate circuitry.”

Users who believed the advert reportedly upgraded their iPhones and dunked the devices to test the feature, only to find that they had broken the expensive gadgets.

Just when I think I’ve hit the peak of how stupid people can be, I read something like this. C’mon, universe. Think a bit.

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Technology

Rethinking the iPhone 5c

The New York Times’ Jenna Wortham on the iPhone 5c:

I told her that I’d been eyeing the gold one myself, even though I already had a perfectly good phone right now. She said the gold and silver ones looked nice, but that they weren’t flashy enough for her. Most people wouldn’t be able to immediately tell it was a gold iPhone simply by looking at it, she said.

“I want people to know that this is a new phone,” she said.

The interaction made me wonder if my knee-jerk reaction to the C-series phones was too hasty.

Are you trying to tell me that the tech reporters don’t understand the mentality of the “normal” people who buy electronics? NO WAY I HAD NO IDEA.

Categories
Technology

iPhone Pricing and The Power of Stupid

Reuters: “High iPhone price spooks investors, Apple shares drop”

“Investors were put off that Apple’s price point didn’t go low enough to attract a new market. It doesn’t have the same range in price that Apple’s competitors have,” said Mark Luschini, chief investment strategist at Janney Montgomery Scott in Philadelphia, which manages about $58 billion in assets.

Obviously they missed the point of the event entirely. Ben Thompson of Statechery summed up what Apple was actually saying with their iPhone event thusly:

No, we will NOT compete on price, we will offer something our competitors can’t match.

No, we are NOT selling a phone, we are selling an experience.

No, we will NOT be cheap, but we will be cool.

No, you in the tech press and on Wall Street do NOT understand Apple, but we believe that normal people love us, love our products, and will continue to buy, start to buy, or aspire to buy.

Oh, and Samsung? Damn straight people line up for us. 20 million for a concert. “It’s like a product launch.”

Naturally, it’s not seen that way on a bunch of tech blogs or with the Wall Street Analysts Douche Parade, because that’s just how they play their game. Of course, if I was running Apple, I’d try to build up a giant reserve of cash, announce a stock buyback program, and work over the next few years to snatch back as much of my stock as possible in order to either raise the value of it considerably or pack it up and go private.

Oh. Wait.

Categories
Technology

Apple iPhone Event Livesnark

Apple is expected to announce the latest update(s?) to the iPhone today, along with a bunch of other stuff. Despite my invitation to be at the event personally presumably being lost in the mail, I will be following a bunch of live-blogs of the event (and maybe finding a live-stream of the event, Batman willing) and making a bunch of snarky comments about things here, as well as shorter snark on Twitter.

So come back at 10AM PST/1PM EST for some stupid jokes about products I will very likely own in the near future.

Categories
Technology

Whimsy

Our last move was to tilt the exclamation point by 9 degrees, just to add a bit of whimsy.

Marissa Mayer, regarding the exclamation point in Yahoo!’s new logo.

Fact: Marissa Mayer and I have very, very different definitions of ‘whimsy’.

Categories
Technology

CodeKit Twerk Update

Codekit Software Update

Easily one of the best software updates in the history of software updates.

(Also, if you work with LESS or SASS in web design, and you’re on a Mac, I can’t recommend CodeKit enough. And no, they’re not paying me to say that, but if they should decide they’d like to pay me to say that, they are totally welcome to.)